Our Allotment

By the way, did I tell you that we (the Bisset Family) just got ourselves an Allotment?

For non-UK readers, this means we've now got a small plot of land for growing fruit and vegetables rented from the local council.

It's already got a peach tree, plum tree, fig tree, pear tree, blackcurrant and elderberry bushes, and a hell of a lot of bindweed, thistle, nettles and brambles inherited from the previous tenants.

And what's that got to do with recording the definitive album of the 21st century you cry?

Ah, well... it's got a shed!

Yes, it's half-way between work and home and it's got a shed. Admittedly, I can't stand upright in the shed and the floor has rotted through and if it survives the winter it will be a miracle, but if it's got an old shed then it stands to rights that it can have a new shed!

And we've already started drawing up plans for the new shed. Obviously it will have a kitchen for making cups of Bovril in the winter and G&T in the summer. We'll also need a shower for cleaning up after toiling on the honest soil - but that's where the problems start.

The shower room will need to be sound-proofed, or it could cause all sorts of trouble for the recording studio. There's nothing worse than getting that take of your delicate acoustic guitar part just right when your wife suddenly breaks into a joyful rendition of ‘Duke of Oil’ through the wooden partition.

And of course there's the electric power to consider too. There must be some way of converting all the energy our collies seem to have into something more useful than chasing a ball. A treadmill perhaps, with a squeaky toy attached but just out of reach?